I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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