Sry I called you an 8
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
