Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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