ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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