one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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