Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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