i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
