More tranny stories later!
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
