I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
