I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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