I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
