so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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