My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
