Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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