Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
