OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
