Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
