Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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