do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
