Your dad touched me again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
