3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
