just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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