You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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