I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
