Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
tell me about the fingering
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
