Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
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