I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
pray to the hookup gods
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
