the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
