Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry k8e hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

Fav 7 1259 3732
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

Fav 34 4566 1198
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

Fav 81 3154 6577
share tweet
(562): View more from California

cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi

Fav 28 4891 2180
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

Fav 39 9534 1547
share tweet
(586): View more from Michigan

She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

Fav 3 1045 4401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.

Fav 16 3214 1482
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.

Fav 0 33 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.

Fav 0 28 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT