i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
