May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
