The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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