We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
