Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize