is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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