just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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