i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
