I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
