I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
