How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
