I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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