So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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