Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
