I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
