i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
