We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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