I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
