she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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