I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
