So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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