i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
