I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
this is an emotional support booty call
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
