One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
