Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
