I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
