when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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