Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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