I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
