I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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