If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
