Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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