I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
