How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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