I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
