im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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